


Cursed

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, The Joker dcu - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Affection, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Curse Breaking, Curses, Danger, Denial of Feelings, Desert Island, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fatherhood, Feelings, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Implied Relationships, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Light Angst, Love, Magical Pregnancy, Metahumans, Motherhood, Newborn Children, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Self-Reflection, Tears, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker dcu, Tragedy, True Love, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:25:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: In a world where the metahumans existence was becoming more and more of a reality despite so many efforts of secrecy, you knew what was growing inside of you and it was frightening. You weren’t terrified for yourself, but for the little being you couldn’t wait to see. You tried so hard to contain the rumors already spreading around, but with so many enemies, someone was bound to look into those speculations to see if they’re true or not.





	Cursed

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same name: DiYunho.

The cars chasing your SUV are getting closer and closer. The Joker is accelerating, trying to lose them on Gotham’s outskirts, turning from one street to the other but it’s useless.

“Faster, J, faster!” you scream, looking behind and notice you are still followed. The bullets start shrieking, aiming for the tires and a few hit the target. J slams the breaks, almost crushing the vehicle into the abandoned building to your left, turning the car sideways to avoid as much damage as he can.

“Are you OK?” he asks, panting, taking off his seatbelt and jumping out the car, running on your side so he can help you.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” you frantically repeat, unbuckling and he takes your hand, dragging you after him while rushing inside the building.

“Come on, Pumpkin, hurry up!” The Joker urges but it’s so hard to be quick when you are 9 months pregnant. He takes the stairs towards the top of the building and after 7 floors, you are finally on the roof.

“Where the hell is Frost?” you whimper, grabbing a metal bar leaning by an empty water tank nearby and forcing it alongside the door, hoping it will hold for a while.

“I don’t know Doll,” J shakes his head, taking his gun out and backing out with you following. “Shit, they’re here!”

The commotion going on out there worries you to death and you protectively wrap your arms around your tummy, trying to think of a solution.

“What are we going to do?” you bite your lips, closing the gap between you and The Joker. He takes a few deep breaths, clenching to his gun.

“Maybe…maybe we should give them what they want…”

“What?!” you almost scream, stunned. “Have you completely lost your mind?! I’m not giving them our child!!!” You wish to say more but your words are interrupted by the voice you both hear in your heads.

“Daaadddddy, you want to give me away?” and then the crying starts, louder and louder, making you both cover your ears for a few moments.

“Sssttt, don’t cry, you’re staying with us, “ you try calming down the sobbing while caressing your huge bump, soothing your unborn baby boy. Suddenly, silence. Only the SWAT team getting ready to bust the door open breaks the stillness.

“Daaaddyyy,” the child’s voice sniffles, “I curse you to never find peace again!”

“ J…” you have time to touch his hand, sensing something strange is going on. He feels it too.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean…” but before The Joker finishes up the sentence, you vanish in thin air, leaving behind just a fine mist of glittering rain drops.

“Y/N?…” he mutters, shocked. Instantly, his body starts burning with such intensity it makes him fall to his knees. The SWAT team is almost through the door and he loses consciousness as they barge in.

*******************

Once you decided you wanted a baby, it didn’t take too long to get pregnant. You noticed something was odd in your second trimester. There was this constant low humming in your ears that you blamed on the inevitable biological changes happening when you are having a kid. The doctor didn’t find anything out of the ordinary either at your regular checkups.

As the days went by, the sound grew stronger and J told you he started hearing noises also. The continuous humming turned into whispers you couldn’t understand; not gibberish – it sounded like they were coming from very far away and you couldn’t comprehend what was said.

When you were 6 months pregnant, The Joker began to hear the whispers also. It wasn’t scary at all; mostly a calming sensation, an ongoing impression of a presence around you that kept you safe. In a world where the metahumans existence was becoming more and more of a reality despite so many efforts of secrecy, you knew what was growing inside of you and it was frightening. You weren’t terrified for yourself, but for the little being you couldn’t wait to see.

You tried so hard to contain the rumors already spreading around, but with so many enemies, someone was bound to look into those speculations to see if they’re true or not. So many sleepless nights, worried that all the security you were surrounded with might not be enough. You often talked to J about your son for hours. The Joker really wanted to know if his son will have blue eyes or green like yours. He used to joke saying that’s the only problem he’s concerned with, yet you knew it wasn’t so.

First time you heard the voice really clear in your head it was when you were 7 months pregnant. It was the middle of the night and it woke you up.

“Mommy?”

You opened your eyes right away and J woke up too.

“Princess, did you hear that?” he elbowed you, hoping he wasn’t hallucinating.

“Yes, I did,” you muttered and got out of bed, not knowing what to do.

“Daddy?” the cute voice echoed in your minds again, giggling.

J held his breath, amazed, touching his cheek.

“Did you…did you feel that Doll?”

You nodded a yes: that faint sensation, barely a soft breeze, sweet and tender. You didn’t know what it was, but something made both of you go on the balcony.

You gasped in awe when tiny specks of light came pouring down just like falling stars, only for you and The King Of Gotham. It seemed they came from nowhere and as soon as they touched your skin, they evaporated, leaving a vague shimmery dust behind.

“Unbelievable…” J smiled and you laughed when he pressed his hand on your tummy because the baby was kicking really hard.

“I know, it’s incredible… ” you kept his hand in place on your abdomen, enjoying the little show still going on the terrace.

The Joker kneeled in front of you and asked:

“Hey, do you have blue eyes or green?” His ear went against your bump and he carefully listened. Nothing. “Do you think my boy can hear me?”

“I don’t know, baby…” you stroke his hair while he waited for 5 more minutes before giving up.

******************

You are starting to come back to your senses. The last thing you remember is waking up here, being so hot you took off all your clothes before you passed out. You turn on your side, reaching for your tank top, unable to move too much.

“Dammit…,” you mutter, taking a few more moments to compose yourself. “ Jaaayyy?” you shout but there’s no answer. “Jaaayyyyy?” No sound but the wind gushing through the palm trees and the small water fall behind you dropping in the pond that’s only a few feet away. “Where are we?” you caress your tummy, distressed. “Where did you bring us?” No voice that replies. You try to get up without success, lying back down in the grass. You immediately feel just the pressure and some discomfort, there’s hardly any pain that comes with labor.

“Not now…” you take deep breaths, staring at the blue sky above. “Please, not now…” The contractions are very strong and you start pushing, unable to control your body. Since it doesn’t hurt, you don’t even scream. “Oh my God…” you inhale one more time, using all your strength to push.

There’s no crying and you panic, shifting so you can get to the newborn. You lift him in your arms and your son opens his eyes, slowly blinking while looking at you.

“Hi…” you smile and tears roll down your face. “Hi, sweetie…” and your heart is so overwhelmed when you realize he has a blue eye and a green one. You’ve never seen an angel before but you are pretty much sure you are looking at one now. “You’re so beautiful,” you kiss the tiny head and the little one fusses a bit, but doesn’t cry. You crawl to your jacket with him in your arms, digging in the pockets for the knife you always carry so you can cut the umbilical cord.

“There, all done now,” you shiver because it made you so nervous doing that yourself. “Let’s clean up a bit, hm?” you squeeze him harder to your chest and finally manage to get up with shaky legs and step into the nice, warm water. “You like that?” you carefully wash your son and he just keeps on looking at you, wiggling in your arms. You stay in the water for about 10 minutes then come out, placing him on your jacket as you dress up with the clothes scattered around. Your tank top is fine, but the leggings do seem bigger now. Nothing else to wear so you’ll have to manage. You wrap your baby in the jacket and gently rock him in your arms even if you don’t have to: he doesn’t cry at all.

You softly kiss his face, then the little hands, mesmerized on how surreal everything is. “Mommy is here with you,” you repeat over and over, continuing to rock him and he fusses again, yawning. “ Are you tired?…I’m tired too…” you peck his temple and walk towards the beach you see not too far in the distance. “Where is your father?…” you sniffle, gazing at your child. “Did you…did you leave him behind?” and you burst out in tears, worried sick because you have no idea what happened to The Joker. “Daddy didn’t mean it; he would never give you away…” you wipe your face, stopping for a few seconds. “ He just said that; he didn’t mean it…” You sense the familiar presence around you, yet no reply. Your son closes his eyes and falls asleep so you cuddle him to your chest, resuming your walk. 

*********************

J rolls over in bed, gradually regaining his awareness. He groans in pain, attempting to move and it strikes: he’s in the master bedroom at the penthouse.

“Jesus…” The Joker forces himself to get out of bed and almost falls down, drained for once. “How did I get here?” he thinks, glimpsing around the room, confused. “Y/N?” he yells, holding on to the table. “Y/N??? Are you here?” J starts to remember the events that occurred before his awakening. “Goddammit,” he whispers, stumbling towards the bathroom so he can wash his face, maybe it will help.

He turns on the light and hardly finds the energy to drag his feet towards the sink.

“Holy shit!” The Joker gulps, astonished: his hair turned light silver, almost white and it makes him even more uneasy to see that now he has a blue eye and a green one. “What the hell ?!” he pulls down on his cheek, analyzing the intense shades of his irises. The colors are so strong they really stand out.

“Y/N?” he turns around, carefully listening. ”Are you here?” and for some reason he recalls the words he said on the top of that building, how disappointed and hurt you were and his son’s sobbing, the sadness and the sorrow. “ I curse you to never find peace again!” resonates in his mind and a sharp ache in the heart makes him gasp for air.

The Prince of Crime searches around the penthouse for the woman he knows he won’t find. J didn’t mean to suggest giving his son away just to save himself, but his first instinct was just that and he knows he wouldn’t have done it. Just thinking about it now makes him nauseated.

******************

When you finally reach the sandy beach, it’s completely deserted; no one around. You shield the newborn from the sun, walking along the shore for a while and there is not a single soul in sight. You’re so burned out but you don’t give up. It takes you two hours to get back to your starting point.

“We’re on a small island,” you sigh, disappointed, deliberating on your options. Not too many. You don’t even know which ocean you’re surrounded by. “I really need a nap,” you conclude, marching back to the shadow under the palm trees bordering the beach. You lay down in sand, carefully holding the baby close to you, thinking about J and weeping until all fades into darkness. You don’t know for how long you’ve been asleep, but your child’s movement awakes you.

“Hi sweetie…” you smile, placing a kiss on his little hand. “How long was I out?” He frets a bit and you get on your elbow, analyzing the tiny fingers and toes, counting them again to make sure everything is there, kissing every single one a few times. “Are you hungry?” you lean your back against the palm tree you slept under, starting to breastfeed the precious treasure in your arms.

“I’m so thirsty,” you close your eyes, enjoying the mellow breeze. You remember the waterfall is not too far, might be the only drinkable water around. After he’s done, you return to the pond, getting in the water again so you can cool down and quench your thirst. Drinking from the stream invigorates you and you bend over to take a sit on a rock emerging from the lake, snuggling the little one.

“Can you take us back, please?… I need to take care of you and I can’t if we stay here,” you stare in his eyes that seem to pierce your soul. “Take us back home, would you? I’m worried about your dad…” you plead, whimpering. “We need to find him…” No reply and it makes you so upset. “What am I going to do?” you think and suddenly the child’s voice echoes in your mind for the first time since you got on the island.

“Daddy wants to give me away…” and the crying intensifying afterwards breaks your heart. Your son is looking at you, peacefully falling asleep again, but the power inside of him speaks in your mind.

“No, he won’t give you away, I promise. He could never do that!” and you cover him in kisses, desperate to calm down the pain. “We need to find him, please take us back…” you beg, resting your head on the little body, unable to stop sobbing.

****************

The Joker has no idea what to do and where to start his search. He locked himself up in the penthouse, trying to come up with a plan. He will probably send his henchmen around town to look for you as soon as the whole crew reports back to him as instructed. But where to start? Are you even in Gotham? He will have to contact all his sources and see if anything will come up. J has so many connections, but the reality sinks in when he realizes nothing might help. This is not an ordinary situation and ordinary methods might not be enough.

His silver hair falls to the side, a few strands flying in the wind intensifying on the balcony. What he said on that roof repeats in his brain over and over again, making him agonize at the thought that he might never see his girl and his baby again. He truly can’t find a moment of peace, so restless and edgy it makes him physically sick. His own flesh and blood cursed him and The Joker knows he fully deserved it.

What he doesn’t know is that his son didn’t really do such thing. The King of Gotham may never understand, but when you love somebody and they’re gone, you will never find peace again. You don’t need a curse for that; it will happen on its own. Self-doom is the worst kind of curse.

The shiny drops of light sizzling on his skin make J lift his chin up from all the papers he is reading without seeing. Immersed in the familiarity of the outwordly phenomenon, his heart is beating faster and faster. He jumps down from the railing and literally stops breathing when you materialize in front of him, holding his son tight in your arms. The documents fly from his hand and The Joker find himself petrified, afraid to blink just in case you are a product of his imagination.

“Princess..?” he manages to utter, stunned.

“ J!” you snap out of it yourself, realizing you are back home. “J!” and you rush in his arms, kissing him and he hugs you both so tight you are breathless for a few seconds. “I thought they caught you, I was so worried!” you continue to talk in between kisses, relieved. “What happened to your hair?!” you back out a bit to point out the change. “And your eyes?!”

“I don’t know…” he holds you close to him, mesmerized by what you carry in your jacket. “ I woke up here like this…But your eyes are just like his and mine…” he signals for the baby and you hand over his son.

“Huh?!” you touch your face, confused.

The Joker pecks his forehead, completely smitten.

“You have a blue eye and a green one, Pumpkin,” he lets you know and since there is a mirror on the balcony by the pool, you run to it. The reflection doesn’t lie: you do have a blue eye and a green one now, just like your son and The Joker.

“Oh, wow…What do you think it means?…” you turn around, puzzled and walk back towards them.

“No clue, Y/N…” and the baby actually crying for the first time in his human form startles you. J slowly rocks him and the cute voice, sniffling, resonates in your minds once more:

“Daaadddyyy, you wanted to give me away…”

The Joker brings his face close to his son’s, glancing in those eyes he waited for so long to see.

“I will never give you away, I swear!”

“You promise Daddy?” and the newborn wiggles in his embrace, not crying anymore.

“I promise!”

As soon as J said the words, that invisible, soothing presence he felt when you were pregnant is all around him again.

And that is something no curse can break.


End file.
